How we treat others reveals what we believe about Christ
Every Relationship Is Subject to New Creation
Ephesians 5 is one of the most misunderstood passages in the Bible. It is often pulled out of context and used to make a single point about marriage roles. But when you read it as part of Paul's larger letter, something much more powerful emerges. This passage is about new creation, and it has something to say about every relationship in your life.
Why Context Changes Everything in Ephesians 5
Paul's letter to the Ephesians is a carefully constructed, deeply connected piece of writing. It is not a collection of random instructions. Every section builds on the one before it.
When we pull out a single verse or paragraph and treat it as a standalone rule, we miss the point entirely. Ephesians 5 is not a passage about gender hierarchy. It is a passage about what it looks like to live as a new creation people in every area of life, including our closest relationships.
What Did Relationships Look Like Before the Fall?
To understand what Paul is calling us toward, it helps to go back to the beginning.
When God created Adam, He was excited about relationship. Adam was in relationship with God, with creation, and eventually with Eve. Everything was whole. Everything was good. There was no striving, no power struggle, no brokenness.
But the fall changed all of that. The relationships that were once perfect became strained and broken. Adam and Eve were no longer connected to God in the same way. They were no longer connected to each other in the same way. Even their relationship with creation itself was affected.
This is the backdrop for everything Paul writes in Ephesians 5.
What Does New Creation Have to Do With Marriage and Relationships?
If God is renewing the world through Jesus Christ, and if the church is meant to be a living example of that renewal, then our relationships have to reflect it.
Paul is not setting up a permanent hierarchy where men rule and women follow. He is saying that in a world where relationships are broken by sin, the church should look radically different. Our relationships should point people back to what God originally intended.
The church is meant to be a microcosm of new creation. When people look at how we treat one another, they should see something they want to be part of.
What Was Really Going On in Ephesus?
Understanding the cultural context of Ephesus helps clarify what Paul was addressing.
- There was a prominent temple to the goddess Artemis in Ephesus. Because of her influence, women in that region had a degree of independence and authority that was unusual for the time.
- At the same time, the broader Roman world operated under a deeply patriarchal system where men held power and often used it harshly.
- Roman marriages, especially among people of influence, were largely social contracts. They did not necessarily change how spouses treated one another or how faithful they were to each other.
Paul was speaking into this specific situation. He was calling both men and women to something radically different. Not a reinforcement of the old power structures, but a new way of relating that reflected the love of Christ.
Is This Passage About Women Submitting to Men?
This is one of the most common questions people bring to Ephesians 5, and it deserves a direct answer.
The passage does call wives to be subject to their husbands. But it also calls husbands to love their wives the way Christ loves the church. That is a love that gives everything, that sacrifices, that serves. That was a radical and countercultural call in the Roman world.
More importantly, the passage is set within a broader call to mutual submission. Paul is not creating a system where women are secondary citizens. He is calling every believer to ask: how can I serve the people around me in a way that reflects Jesus?
This passage is not a reason to limit women in ministry or leadership. It is a call for all of us to love one another with a self-giving love.
New Reality Is Defined by Self-Giving Love
If you want people to know that Jesus is real, you have to show it in the way you treat others. That is the heart of what Paul is saying.
Every relationship you are in is an opportunity to reveal who Jesus is. Not just your marriage. Not just your friendships. Every single person you encounter.
As it says in Ephesians 5:25, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her." This is not a small ask. It is a call to the kind of love that costs something.
What Does This Look Like in Everyday Life?
It is easy to show up on Sunday and act like a servant. The harder question is what happens the rest of the week.
- At work, are you only doing what your job description requires, or are you looking for ways to serve?
- With your neighbors, are you protecting your rights, or are you looking for ways to give?
- With people who have hurt you, are you holding onto that, or are you extending grace?
New creation people do not just exist for themselves. We exist because we believe God is making all things new, and we are partners in that work.
What About People Who Are Hard to Love?
This is where it gets uncomfortable. Serving one another within the church is one thing. But what about people outside the church? What about people who are living in ways we disagree with?
Look at the life of Jesus. He did not avoid people who were broken or sinful. He stepped in with grace. He called people to a new way. He said, follow me, and that invitation changed everything.
Jesus died for all of us, including those of us who were far from Him before we believed. That means we extend that same grace to others, not by joining them in sin, but by loving them toward something better.
Wouldn't it be something if every person we encountered had the chance to meet Jesus through the way we treated them?
We Are Partners With God in Recreating the World
God created the world and called it good. The fall broke what was perfect. But God is not finished. Through Jesus Christ and through His church, He is restoring what was lost.
We are partners in that work. And one of the most basic, most accessible ways we participate in it is through the way we treat the people around us every single day.
We are going to get it wrong sometimes. We are going to fail. But God is transforming us day by day, making us more capable of proving that the risen Lord is alive by the way we live.
Life Application
This week, choose one relationship in your life that has felt difficult, distant, or routine, and intentionally look for one way to serve that person with no expectation of anything in return. It does not have to be dramatic. It just has to be genuine. Let that act of service be your way of saying, Jesus is alive, and He is at work in me.
As you reflect on this, ask yourself:
- Are there relationships in my life where I have been focused more on my rights than on serving the other person?
- When people watch how I treat others, do they see something that points them toward Jesus?
- Is there someone in my life, inside or outside the church, who needs to experience grace through me this week?
- Am I living as if Jesus is truly risen, or am I compartmentalizing my faith to Sunday mornings?
New creation is not just a theological idea. It is a daily practice. It shows up in the way we speak to our spouse, treat our coworkers, and respond to the person who frustrates us most. Every relationship is an opportunity to prove that God is making all things new.